Ten Reasons people hate the south, by Leo King
What a wonderful Southern story Pat Conroy weaves in his latest tide; South of Broad. I got such a kick out of this list that Pat's fictional character Leo King, a 1980's fictional Charleston columnist, made of the "Ten reasons people hate the south.
1. Some people hate Southern accents.
2. Some fools think all Southerners are stupid because of those accents.
3. Some dopes still blame me for the Civil War, though I remember killing only three Yankees at Antietam.
4. Many black people I have met outside the South blame me personally for Jim Crow laws, segregation, the need for the civil rights movement, the death of Martin Luther King, the existence of the Ku Klux Klan, all lynchings, and the scourge of slavery.
5. Movie buffs hate the South because they have seen "Birth of a Nation," "Gone With the Wind," "In the Heat of the Night," "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "Easy Rider."
6. A man from Ohio hates the South because he once ate grits at the Atlanta airport. He admitted that he put milk and sugar on them and thought it was the worst cream of wheat he'd ever tasted.
7. Many women who married Southern men, then divorced them, hate the South, as do many men who married Southern women and divorced them. All men and women who married Southerners, then divorced them, hate their Southern mother-in-laws -- ergo the entire South.
8. All liberals based in other geographies hate the South because it is so conservative. They refuse to believe that any true liberals could also be Southern.
9. All women not from the South hate Southern women because Southern women consider themselves far more beautiful than women of the lesser states.
10. All Americans who are not Southern hate the South because they know Southerners don't give a rat's fanny what the rest of the country thinks about them.
Again, this came straight out of Pat Conroy's South of Broad. Enjoy.